Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
