I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
sex in a hospital.. check
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
