Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we made out on top of his cat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
