girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
