You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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