she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
