i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
