Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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