That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
