Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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