I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
