well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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