Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
