last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think your dad took our porno
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was a blind-side dick pic.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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