Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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