Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
