I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
