We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
