Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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