I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
