Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
