I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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