dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
