is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
