There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
