i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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