Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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