hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
