hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
is it fun? or sober?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
