I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize