So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
