Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
