did you get engaged???
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
