anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
tell me about the fingering
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
