Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize