I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
