Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
