so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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