Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He passed out mid-signature
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
