Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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