Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
After last night, I could never be a politician.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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