I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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