somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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