i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
