but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
