I swear she didn't look like that last week.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
