Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
