some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
