Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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