I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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