Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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