I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
