Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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