i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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