Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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