seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
