Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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