I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
