She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
