My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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