It's like a parade of train wrecks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
