I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
