If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize