These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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