I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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