4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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