That's intense
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
