u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
