you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am available for nakedness
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
