dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
