he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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