im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
