Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My feet surprised me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
